costruire ponti
by FearlesslyDancing
Summary: you always knew what you wanted: a house, the one with the white picket fence, with three kids and a dog. and the perfect husband. you always were a sucker for blue eyes. my entry for frostynight's contest.


Okay, ladies and gentlemen, time for another go. This one shot is for the amazing Anna's (FrostyNights) new quote contest, and I'm trying, even though I know that I have absolutely no chance against Arie Jay (Carma), DancingRaindrops (Scarlett) and Justine (Twihard36)... I just want to try! :) So... in the words of an old favorite, Ashel-13; "ON WITH IT!" 

**costruire ponti**

_dear diary of allison munroe,_

1. you always knew what you wanted: a house, the one with the white picket fence, with three kids and a dog. and the perfect husband. you always were a sucker for blue eyes. what you wanted now was just out of reach. there, but still so far away. it made you dream about love. about belonging—a home.

so when all of these dreams came shattering down, you didn't _know _what to do. should you laugh at the situation's absurdity? should you cry about all of your mistakes? maybe you should rethink. but what? what _could _you rethink? your standards? as of now, your standards were one thing: Chad Dylan Cooper. so when He walked by you in the hall and said nothing, reacted in no way whatsoever, it broke off a little bit of your heart. and now, just like your dreams, the pieces of your heart came shattering down like glass, warping and fracturing in an anonymous way that you didn't understand. you still don't. you prayed for salvation that night, and maybe a tiny bit of hope. more importantly, you prayed for L.O.V.E.

sincerely,

sonny munroe, the "sonshine" of kondor studios.

2. was there a way to find sleep in this crazy business? apparently not. maybe that was a good thing... you couldn't have slept anyway. you tried to lie to yourself. and guess what? it didn't work. period. it convinced tawni to an extent. you never did think she truly believed you anyhow. the rest of your cast mates were oblivious. and He remained deaf to your subtle hints, too. you tried everything. you even dyed your hair to see if you could get a reaction. yes and no. He never said anything. He didn't know it was you when He first saw you. was that good? a way of starting over possibly? you don't know. maybe something did start over. seeing your dad, in a hospital bed, even, had slightly mended your heart. you were stronger now you figured... in a way. still, Chad Dylan Cooper still had a way that made you want to curse at Him with painful regret and then push Him up against a wall and ambush him. at the time the latter was more appealing. have you ever met a guy who can make you want to bow down at his feet with one smile? have you ever met a guy who makes you want to kill him with one word: fine? Chad was both, and , unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, it was a never ending cycle with Him. sometimes you just want to cry. into His shoulder, maybe. you wish someone would give you some compassion, in place of those apathetic masks they wore in place of their emotions. welcome to hollywood. not as great as perez hilton makes it out to be, now is it?

xoxo,

allison

3. is it childish to still _want _to believe in fairytales? what about the naïve playground games like jumping rope to find your husband's name? and flicking coke can tops? or, my personal favorite, spinning apple stems? you wanted to try it. just out of ignorant curiosity. so you picked an apple from the stack in the bowl. you just spun the first stem... a "c." what the hell was that supposed to mean? was it a wicked form of faith? another try revealed a "g" does Goldfarb count, you wonder, mentally cursing yourself. what is up with your unhealthy obsession with Him, you speculate. it was driving you nuts. and to top it all off, tawni wouldn't leave you alone. all you wanted was some peace and quiet. that, and for Him to notice you. but not just _notice _you. really notice you. there was a reason you cried yourself to sleep at night...

love always,

.

4. you can't help feeling sorry for yourself. it's been two long years. and you're still waiting. you want him to make the first move, but you aren't sure about him. so before "mack falls" or "so random!" get cancelled, you know you need to do something...

"_Chad?" you'd asked Him. _

"_what?" His tone sent goose bumps down your arms and legs, making you involuntarily shiver. _

"_um... i was just wondering if maybe You'd..." you stepped closer to his rigid body. "like to, like, hang out sometime?" COWARD. COWARD. COWARD._

"_is that a date?" He raised an eyebrow at you._

"_i-if You want it to be... i guess it can." you stuttered out, breathing in slowly. _

"_good. seven, then."_

I. L.O.V.E. Y.O.U. (your heart whispered).

it does every day.

.allison.

5. finally, you had succeeded in building a bridge. Chad was yours. not portlyn's; not chastity ann's. yours. building bridges. costruire ponti. and love helped it all. you know your story isn't a story of fate; it isn't even a love story... it was just a coincidence that He found your meaning among your word vomit and finished your intintions for you. truth be told...

**"love builds a bridge, where there are none."**_ -R.H Delaney_

Quick note: 

a) Yes, the lowercase letters are there for a reason. 

b) It is a new style that I'm trying. I guess it's second person... told by Sonny's mind...

c) I know I have absolutely NO chance. This was just for fun! ;) 

Hope you enjoyed it! :)


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